freakouts

i think every pregnant woman has these freakout moments where she thinks "omg what have i done??" it's definitely a life-changing event to have a baby, one i'm not sure anyone can really prepare for. yes you hear all the stories, but it's not really "real" until you actually experience it yourself. i've been reading up on what to expect in the last trimester, the labor & delivery, and the aftermath. wow, it's quite overwhelming and very scary. but it looks like there's no turning back now!! i mean, a woman's body is made to handle having a baby, but imagining something approximately the size of my dog coming out of me?? it's hard to wrap my brain around it. and of course there's the whole body image thing. seeing your weight on the scale in numbers you've never seen before is not cool. i'm just hoping i don't end up weighing as much as j!!! i'm really hoping to keep it to a modest 30-35 lbs. i also don't look forward to the mommy badge of extra skin/fat that i'll have on my mid-section after birth either. ah well, i'm sure once the baby comes i'll say it was all worth it, but as of now, i don't think i can say that yet =P

i have ~6 months before i have to say goodbye to my life. as everyone says, once you have kids, you can kiss your own life bye!! everything you do will now be for your kids. i think there will always be a part of me that will wonder if maybe we should have stayed DINKs to be able to travel whenever we want, spend our income on ourselves instead of college funds, and not have the huge responsibility of shaping someone else's life. but i've always wanted kids and i think i'm up for the task, so time to live it up until the baby comes!!! and brace myself for the craaazy rollercoaster ride i'll be on for the next 20 years..........